Happy birthday Frank Zappa wherever you are. Some memorable quotes

By editorial board on December 21, 2022

Frank Zappa has been gone for a few decades now, but we need his rebellious, independent thinking. Comb through his interviews, writings, and onstage banter, and you’re liable to find a quote for everything under the sun.

The buffoonery of conservatives? “Wallowing in blabber and spew, regiments of ex-lawyers and used-car salesmen attempt to distract us from the naughty little surprises served up by deregulated corporate America,” he wrote in his memoir, The Real Frank Zappa Book.

The censoriousness of liberals? “There is no word, nor any sound that you can make with your mouth, that is so powerful that it will condemn you to the lake of fire,” Zappa stated during an interview featured in the 2016 documentary Eat That Question. (Udiscovermusic)


 

Memorable Frank Zappa Quotes

Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."

"Interviewer: "So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?"
Frank Zappa: "You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?"

If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mother, your Dad, your priest, to some guy on television, to any of the people telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.

Definition of rock journalism: People who can’t write, doing interviews with people who can’t think, in order to prepare articles for people who can’t read.

This country’s been around for a couple of hundred years, and we think we’re hot shit. We don’t even realize that other countries have thousands of years of history and culture, and they’re proud of it. And when we deal on an international level, you know, with foreign policy and stuff like that, and we try and go in as a big American, strong country and all that stuff, they must laugh up their sleeves at us because we are nothing. We are culturally nothing. We mean nothing. We’re only interested in the bottom line.

Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?

 

You’re 18. Take that spoon out of your nose, take the needle out of your arm, take the beer out of your mouth, and go vote, you know what I mean? Vote. Register and vote like a beast.

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library."

 

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