“My knees gave out and I dropped the phone as I fell to my bedroom floor, covering my face with my hands as I began to cry,” writes Grohl, 52, in his book, which was released on Tuesday. (New York Post)
“He was gone. The shy young man who had offered me an apple upon our first introduction at the Seattle airport was gone. My quiet, introverted roommate who I’d shared a tiny little apartment with in Olympia was gone. The loving father who played with his beautiful baby daughter backstage every night before each show was gone. I was overcome with a more profound sadness than I had ever imagined.”
But in a cruel twist, Grohl would have to go through that trauma all over again just a month later, when news of Cobain’s suicide came early the morning of April 8 (although police concluded that he actually died on April 5 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head).
“This time it was for real. He was gone,” he writes. “There was no second phone call to right the wrong. To turn the tragedy around. It was final.”
"When Kurt died, I remember the next day and thinking, 'I still get to live. So I'm going to live every day like it's my last one. Even if it's the worst day, I'm going to try to appreciate it.' (source ultimate-guitar.com)
"I still feel that way, I never wanna die. I honestly feel like if I get to do this, and I've got these beautiful kids, as long as I can do this, and do this, I'm all good."
Back in September 2017, Dave talked about the impact Kurt's suicide had on him back in the day, telling Hot Press:
"The Nirvana experience was such a whirlwind. It all happened so quickly - exploded without any warning, and then it just disappeared. Life had changed so much, it was almost like you had to find something to hold onto so that you didn't get swept away.
"Once it was over, I couldn't imagine stepping on stage or sitting down at a drum stool and playing music any more. It would just bring me back to the heartbreaking place of losing Kurt.
"A long time went by where it felt that music was going to break my heart again.
"Then I realized that, actually, music was the one thing that was going to heal it. I had been recording music by myself for years without ever playing it for anyone.
"I thought that going down to the studio at the end of the street would be therapeutic. I didn't think it would become a band - and I sure as fuck didn't think it was going to be a band for 20 years.
"You have to understand - for me, Nirvana is more than it is for you. It was a really personal experience. I was a kid. Our lives were lifted and then turned upside down. And then our hearts were broken when Kurt died.
