Bruce Springsteen, Jim Gaffigan, Norah Jones, Jerry Seinfeld, Jon Stewart, Questlove and Mark Normand have perfromed for the 18th annual Stand Up for Heroes benefit, which took place on Veterans Day, Nov. 11, as part of the New York Comedy Festival.
The event, which always features Springsteen performing select songs and dispensing jokes, had also highlight inspiring moments, memorable surprises, and stories of resilience while recognizing the men and women who have served in nation’s military.
Springsteen has appeared at 14 Stand Up for Heroes events, only missing one in 2017 due to his busy “Springsteen on Broadway” schedule. At a previous show, Springsteen auctioned off a motorcycle and dinner featuring his “mom’s lasagna.”
Along with Stewart and Springsteen, the 2022 Stand Up for Heroes were the comedians Hasan Minhaj, Jeff Ross, and Iliza Shlesinger. Folk outfit the Lumineers and Broadway actress Amber Iman also performed.
According to Rolling Stone, for his first joke, last year he said: “So there’s this 80-year-old couple. They’re in an alley up against the fence and they’re screwing like crazy. I mean, arms are flying, legs are flying, and they’re screwing and screwing and screwing. They just fall down from exhaustion and the wife says, ‘You didn’t screw me like that 50 years ago!’ The man says, ’50 years ago that fence wasn’t electrified.'”
He followed it with another: “An old man is in the gym. This great-looking gal comes in, a young gal. He says to his trainer, ‘Quick, quick, quick, which one of these machines should I be on to get this girl’s attention?’ He goes, ‘Well, if I were you, it would be the ATM.'”
His third joke went: “Three guys are going skiing. They forget to make the reservation and get up to the ski lodge. The person behind the desk says, ‘Look, all we got is a small room with a single bed.’ ‘No problem, we’ll take it, we’ll take it.’ They throw their bags in and they all hop into one single bed, one, two, three. They sleep and the next morning they wake up. Guy on one side says, ‘Wow, I had a dream last night I was getting a hand job.’ The other on the other side says, ‘You’re kidding me. I had a dream last night I was getting a hand job.’ The guy in the middle goes, ‘I had a dream last night I was skiing.’ [makes skiing gesture with hands].”
“It’s such a thin costume that for me it doesn’t hold for a moment,” Springsteen added. “But there have been quite a few people he has attracted along the way, so I suppose the bluster works to a certain degree. He’s really quite an embarrassment if you’re from the USA. It’s simply the most rigid and thinnest veil of masculinity over a mess.”
